Why I do what I do.

Mark Cowper-Smith

The following is a testimony from someone that read my book and spent some time with Shell and I.

When I first met this woman several weeks ago, she described herself as a “black and white” person who wanted to go beyond that mode of thinking. She was hoping the book would help. She had hard hitting honest questions when we would meet. Shell and I would respond with stories of how God revealed Himself in relational ways to us.

She shared the following story with us and gave us permission to share it here. This is the whole reason I wrote the book and why we do what we do.

She wrote –

I had the most incredible experience two weeks ago that I want to share with you. It happened two weeks ago when I sat down at my kitchen table to pray and do my Bible study.

I was alone in the house, as I usually am when I do my prayers and study. For some reason, I grabbed my Bible and just hugged it closely to my chest and held it there the entire time that I was praying out loud. Instead of the usual way I might have begun my prayer, I just started thanking God and praising Him for loving me, for being present in the room with me, for listening to my prayer. I didn’t really ask for anything, but just kept praising Him and thanking Him for listening and being present. I almost immediately began to start sobbing. The sobbing and the hugging of the Bible continued on throughout the length of my prayer, which probably lasted around 20 minutes or so. When I was finished praying, strangely I didn’t feel exhausted from the crying, but just felt a sense of peace and comfort.

I really can’t explain what happened, why I did what I did, why I was crying, except I really believe that I felt His presence and His love. I believe the tears were tears of joy. I was just overwhelmed with emotion. It was a wonderful experience and one I doubt I’ll ever forget. I had never experienced anything like it before and I hoped it wasn’t just a one-time thing (feeling this overwhelming emotion). I wanted it so much to be real and meaningful and maybe a sign that I was being transformed and I had really tapped into that mind-heart connection I’d be longing for, for such a long time.

Your book and our discussions have really made a difference in my life. My prayer life is different. My relationship with God is growing deeper. I am beginning to see Him as Father, Abba, Daddy instead of just the Almighty, Powerful King and Creator of the Universe. I have always intellectually known that He loves me, but I am really beginning to experience His love in a more tangible way now. I owe much of this paradigm shift to your teaching. I want to know Him so much in an intimate Father/daughter way. I have such a hunger and longing in me for that. I’ve always connected with Jesus on a more intimate level, but not really with God the Father.

Anyways, that’s my story….and I’m sticking to it!!